Category: Relationship

Circle of love and safety

Tonight was the second night we put M, our 9-month old daughter, to sleep by creating a circle of love and safety.  Our daughter has always given us a hard time when we put her to bed.  She is often restless, turning and tossing, and starts to cry for our attention almost as soon as we leave her in the crib.  Once in a while she would fall asleep by suckling on her bottle, but she also has thrown up, creating a mess, when we overly rely on this strategy and feed her too much.  She has also never taken to a pacifier.

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7 emotional patterns that you may have gotten from your parents

You suspect that you inherited some unhealthy emotional and relationship patterns from your parents.  If you did, you wonder what they are and how they affect your work and relationships.  Below are seven types of behaviors that I’ve seen in clients whom I have worked with, as well as from my own experience growing up.  Although this list is primarily based on the Asian American experience, you may recognize these tendencies in people from other cultures as well. Continue reading “7 emotional patterns that you may have gotten from your parents”

How to cope with rejection

Rejection is painful.  Whether it’s a romantic interest who stopped returning your texts, a job or promotion you didn’t get, or the dreaded letter from the university’s admissions office, we have all experienced it at one time or another.  The worst part is the self-doubt that seeps into your mind.  You start to question your ability, second-guess your decisions, and wonder if you have what it takes.  A rejection can shake your confidence to the core.

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M is born!

It’s been four weeks since M was born.  I cried the moment when she came into the world, her tiny body lying on P’s chest, her dark eyes looked expectantly at P.  We had been expecting her for nine months, wondering what she would look like and worrying constantly if she was healthy.  The anxiety was instantly washed away by a wave of joy and awe the moment we saw her beautiful face and delicate features.  She looked so fragile, yet magnificent – a masterpiece created by mother nature, built from all but a cell from P and another from me.  In that instant I knew that my life would be changed forever by an unbreakable bond between me and this being.

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Babymoon at Lake Tahoe

P and I just returned from a three-day babymoon vacation in Lake Tahoe.  Returning home, I experienced a sadness that was absent from our previous get-aways.  I felt a deep and tender connected-ness to P.  Being pregnant, she is vulnerable in the ways she moves, walking a step slower and waddling slightly from side-to-side.  Her smiles and laughters also carried forth an effusiveness and melodious intonation that were child-like.  I wanted to hold her and protect her.  It was easy to feel her love, and to love her.

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