“There are these two young fish swimming along, and happened to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods to them and says, ‘Morning boys, how’s the water?’  The two young fish swim on for a bit, and eventually one of them looks over at the other and says, ‘What the hell is water?'” – David Foster Wallace

When I started my doctoral program in psychology, I didn’t intend on researching about racism.  My interest was primarily in personal growth.  As I learned more about myself and about the subtle ways in which people are affected by their environment, I began to realize how my experience is significantly shaped by my identity as an Asian American.  My interest deepened when I read about micro-aggression, which is a subtle form of prejudiced behaviors that can cause harmful psychological impact.  Examples of micro-aggression are comments that imply you are not an American, such as repeatedly asking, “where are you from?” when you answered with a location in the U.S., and being excluded socially because you are a minority.

How would you know if you have been affected by subtle forms of racism?  Here are some signs that I found based on my dissertation research.

• Your social confidence drops when you are in a setting with predominantly White people. Very likely you have had the experience of feeling excluded in such social settings.  Whether or not other people’s behaviors were intentional, you have become more self-conscious.
• You wish or had wished that you looked more White, or that you were White. You feel that if you were White, you would fit in more, or that it would confer a certain advantage.
• You feel angry or had felt angry because you were disadvantaged because of your race. You are proud of your ethnicity; nonetheless you noticed that you have been disadvantaged because of it.  For instance, data from online dating websites have shown that Asian American male ranked lowest compared to men of other ethnicities when it comes to receiving matches.
• At a subconscious level, you believe that dating a White romantic partner gives a person higher social status. Dating someone White is often associated with the ability to assimilate with the mainstream culture.  (Note there is nothing wrong with dating people from other cultures because of shared values or common interests, but consider why you may be more attracted to one ethnicity over another.)

These thoughts and feelings are present because we live in a culture where prejudice against Asian Americans exists.   To acknowledge these biases is not an excuse to blame society for our problems; rather it gives insight into our behaviors and psychological conditioning.  As the story about the two young fish illustrates, we can’t fix the problem if we don’t understand what it is, or even know that it exists.

Although my research was about race, discrimination can occur because of people’s gender, socioeconomic status, nationality, sexual orientation, disability, etc.  Therefore it is important to acknowledge that we all harbor some form of biases – we are a product of the culture we consume.  For instance, if the only representation of Asian American male in media is the stereotypical geek, then our brain will start to generalize that association to all Asian American males.  Although these stereotypes are difficult to change, simply being aware of them can significantly diminish their influence.

P.S. I picked a portrait of Bruce Lee for this article because he succeeded at a time when discrimination against people of color was overt and rampant.