Many people have the experience of seeing spontaneous images in their mind.  The imagery seemingly appears out of the blue, and it’s often puzzling why and from where it arises.   Some people are frightened by the imagery, while others interpret it as a vision that portends the future.   I’d like to share my experience of one such image, and how I worked with it.

For several years before I was married, an image of an old man recurred in my mind, usually when I was alone and not preoccupied.  The man was in his late sixties or seventies.  He had a slight frame, back gently hunched, a thin layer of hair, and was frail yet healthy.  He lived alone in the country-side, near the mountains.  He looked content and peaceful, enjoying a simple, rustic life.  In this image, he is moving about outdoors, taking care of chores, getting wood or water, readying to cook.

I felt a heavy tinge of sadness whenever I saw this image.  It puzzled me because the man appeared to be content.  Was he how I would be when I become old?  Alone, yet no longer troubled by loneliness.  When I was young, I fantasized about living in the mountains, close to nature and far away from cities.  A fantasy that stemmed from classical Chinese paintings that I loved growing up.  Yet I couldn’t shake off the sadness that I felt.

I tried to add various elements to the imagery to rid myself of the sadness.  He has a wife and his children visit often.  There are villagers who live close by.  He is gregarious.  Yet none of these elements resonated, and each felt incongruent and out-of-place.  I also tried to add backstories to his life.  A traumatic event had happened.  Grief-stricken, he shut himself off from this world.  This is not the life he had wanted.  Though such backstories would explain his hermetic lifestyle, they felt forced.  They were my wishful thinking rather than who he really was.

I began to recognize that this old man arose from a deep, unconscious part of who I was.  I wanted to be like him, but I couldn’t bear the loneliness.  I would be troubled by a sense of failure, that a life in the mountains would be an escape from the vicissitudes of the world.  This part of me was a simmering anxiety about life, and I was projecting it onto the man in the imagery.

When I recognized that the old man is not turning himself away from the world, I added a new element, which, unlike previous attempts, fit.  In my mind’s eye, rather than seeing the man as a person from a distance, as if he were in a picture frame, I saw that he turned towards me, then reached out his hand.  Breaking the two-dimensional plane, he engaged me and invited me into his abode for tea.  I am no longer an observer or an omnipresence, but an active participant.

I like the interactive nature of this new imagery.  I am no longer separate from him and his life; I have become a part of it. Now whenever this image arises, rather than sadness, I experience warmth towards him.  I also wonder if there are other symbols or messages in this imagery.  Perhaps they will be revealed to me in time.

What spontaneous imagery have you experienced?  What feelings does it evoke?  How do you work with it?