P and I just returned from a three-day babymoon vacation in Lake Tahoe.  Returning home, I experienced a sadness that was absent from our previous get-aways.  I felt a deep and tender connected-ness to P.  Being pregnant, she is vulnerable in the ways she moves, walking a step slower and waddling slightly from side-to-side.  Her smiles and laughters also carried forth an effusiveness and melodious intonation that were child-like.  I wanted to hold her and protect her.  It was easy to feel her love, and to love her.

We were both captivated by the magnificent scenery of the lake and the mountains surrounding it.  Each day we took walks around and near the lake, and its serenity and calm gradually melted away the stress and agitation from our daily life.  From the cruise, we could see the sheer drop of the cliffs, enveloped by a deep blue sky that were painted with shades of orange and pink as the sun set.  The panoramic view of the mountain ranges, embraced by the sky and resting peacefully with the lake, took my breath away.  Everything else in the world seem trivial and mundane in comparison, and nature’s heavenly essence called out to me to touch and taste the transcendental and mystical.  It sang to a yearning and longing that were deeper than worldly ambition.

In these three days, my attention wasn’t wrapped up in ideas about my work projects.  Living in nature and being so peaceful and at rest with P made me question the sanity of spending most of my waking hours sitting and typing into a computer.  My only desire was to love P, raise our expecting child, and forever capture the moments of tranquility that I experienced in nature.  The sadness that overcame me, perhaps, stemmed from a reluctant acknowledgment that the peace and quietude that I desire will have to wait.  In the days to come, when I will be again immersed in work and day-to-day living, I hope that I can search and reach into my memories, take out the sounds and images of these three past days, and hold them, if momentarily, in my attention.  I treasure forever the peace and love that I felt.